Empty Space

Most of us don't handle empty space very well.   Think of the last time you were waiting at the doctor's office or the mechanic's waiting room.  A blaring TV and lots of magazines are usually provided.  When we drive, the radio comes on.  Even in church we move from one event to the next with no space in between.  Very rarely do people, myself included, take time to just rest in the quietness and let our inner life come to the surface.

Why is this?  I'm not sure I have the answer.  We could claim boredom, or the fact that we are used to having background noise and are uncomfortable when it isn't there. But when your life IS an empty space, what do you do? 

Two years ago I resigned from my position as an associate pastor because I felt God's leading to do so.  But it hasn't led to anything esle except homeschooling the kids and maintaining the household while my wife works.  This is a very hard place for me, despite the fact that I love my kids and family. 

It seems God has indeed led me to the desert, and in spite of my best effots, I'm not allowed to fill the emptiness with goals, dreams or ambitions.  I would like to throw myself into a worthy goal, but there is nothing on the horizon.  This is a scary place, but I have to believe that God is purposefully emptying me to leave room for more of him and his purpose for me.