The Road Goes Ever On and On

Core Values

"Men will always be making mistakes as long as they are striving after something." - Goethe

National Community Church, pastored by Mark Batterson in Washington, D.C. has a list of core values.  One of them is, Everything is an Experiment.  I like that.  Why is that most people have crystallized by middle age into rigid thinkers?  When I meet a free spirit, a risk-taker, I usually gravitate to them because I don't meet very many.  Most people my age are trying to fund their 401k's or living safely till they die. That sucks.

We never arrive.  We are always growing and changing.  As Winston Churchill said, "Success is never final; failure is never fatal.  It is courage that counts."  Christians, secure in the furious love of God, should be the most daring people on the planet.  And some are.  I've met missionaries who take a huge risk to lead their families into an unfamiliar culture.  I've met pastors who loaded u-hauls to plant churces where they didn't know a soul.  These are courageous souls.  But so many of us are afraid to step out.  Why?

I honestly believe that God expects more failure from us than we do from ourselves.  I for one hate failure.  I take it personally, and fear what others may think.  But God knows our frame, he understands our humanity.  Secure in his unconditional love, we should be willing to risk failure; it doesn't define us.  As John Hobbs, a man of God I greatly respect, once said, "I may fail, but that doesn't make me a failure!"

A Glaring Omission

For the most part, I've been happy in my worship experiences in the Baptist, Charismatic and Pentecostal traditions.  But the glaring omission is Lent.  If it's mentioned at all, it is at best the introduction to a resurrection sermon on Easter.  I feel this does a huge disservice to Christians in these traditions.

Loss and death are a part of our lives, and a part of our spiritual lives as well.  We cannot grow in grace if we are not willing to allow the Holy Spirit to put to death the things we have idolized.  That involves pain, grieving, and a sense of loss that can't be rushed.  "Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted" (Matt. 5:4).

If you read the Psalms, the hymn book of the Old Testament, you find lots of questioning and even pointed remarks towards God's absence.  "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" Psalm 22:1.  "Why, O Lord, do you stand far off?  Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?" Ps 10:1.  "How Long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?" Ps 13:1.  I could go on. 

Question:  When's the last time you sang a song in church about the absence of God, or in the words of Jeremiah, "He ground my face into the gravel. He pounded me into the mud. I gave up on life altogether. I've forgotten what the good life is like. I said to myself, 'This is it. I'm finished. God is a lost cause'" (Lamentations 3:15-17, the message).

I just came through one of these difficult times.  I've been going through this particular dark night for over two years (call me stubborn, I couldn't submit; but God is more stubborn than I'll ever be).  The relief, the blessing, the light on the other side, the peace and closeness to God really does make the hard times worth it.  What made it rougher than it needed to be is the silence of the churches I'm familiar with in regards to spiritual struggle.

If you are always singing how blessed you are in Jesus, how you are always walking in victory, you feel like a freak or outcast.  It shouldn't feel that way when God takes you through the valley of the shadow of death, as inevitably he will.  I found myself turning to music outside my tradition, to artists whose music, if not lyrics, touched a part of the sadness and longing of my soul.  Christian or not, they helped me touch the places that needed expression in me when the "happy" worship felt like fast food.

In this regard, I think churches that don't follow the ecclesiastical calendar can take a cue from the the ones that do.  If you give your people a chance to embrace, accept, and deal with the loss, sadness, and disappoinments of life in a corporate service, it helps.  It may not break attendance records or get a lot of amens, but it helps.

Snow Days

This past Tuesday there was snow in Charlotte.  The day was rich. I quietly woke each of my three kids, one after the other.  I did this on purpose to watch their faces, as wordlessly I opened their blinds.  Irritation gave way to wonder.  Life sparkled in their eyes as they focused on a transformed world. 

It was like watching the Pevensies walk through a wardrobe and find themselves in Narnia. You go to bed with the tired, old familiar world, and wake up in winter wonderland.  It is the closest thing to real magic our world has.

Snow days are so like the grace of God.  In some fundamental way, the kiss of snow on the world transforms not just the world, but you and how you see it.  God's gentle grace is just like that.  It doesn't change your circumstances, it changes you. 

Parenting may suddenly become the greatest privlege and blessing of your life, not just an everyday hassle. You begin to see the people your children are becoming.  Your marriage regains it's spark, not because of something your spouse has done, but because you see them with a new appreciation. And all because God gently changed your heart, your way of seeing and living.

Yes, the same old stuff lies under that blanket of snow:  the mud, the dog droppings, the broken toys.  But somehow, unless the child in you is completely dead, the world still has the power to take your breath away.  No matter how gray the world may be, God works with those whose inner child still lives. (apologies to Frederick Buechner, Telling the Truth)

Conservative Response to Obama

On October 19, 1781, General Cornwallis, representing the most powerful nation on earth, surrendered to General George Washington, who represented the scrappy, rebellious colonialists.  A few days later, Washington invited Cornwallis to a lavish dinner where he wined and dined him, his enemy only a few days prior.

If I could say one thing to my fellow conservatives, drop the radicalism.  Washington knew how to anticipate and prepare for the future.  Great Britain has become our greatest ally among the free countries of the world.  I hope that conservative Republicans can move forward with the same realism.  Maybe our party and your candidate didn't win.  Maybe we will cringe at some of the liberal-leaning decisions that will be made.  But if this is our country, we work with fellow Americans we may not agree with.

The day after the election, I remember hearing Rush Limbaugh give a tirade, which was his response to Obama's victory speech.  Obama had asked for the support of those who had voted for McCain (which I did), saying he wanted to be our president too.  Like it or not, he is my president and I will support him.  However, Limbaugh's response was to the effect that I didn't vote for him and he is not my president.

This morning I saw some posts on a conservative blogger site entitled, "7 Things us Conservatives can do on Obamamania Day."  You can read the entire thread here, which includes trimming nose hair, organizing your sock drawer, etc.  Does this seem something like being a sore loser to any other fellow conservatives?  It also smacks of short-sightedness.  If and when conservatives again gain power, I hope they have the forethought to realize, like it or not, they will have to work with liberal representatives in the government.  Don't burn your bridges, build the future of this country, and please don't make the practical realists of the conservative movement cringe.  And if you're really feeling generous, maybe you can rejoice in the inclusiveness represented by Obama's inauguration.

The Steve Jobs Dilemma

At the risk of stating the obvious, Steve Jobs is the face of Apple.  When news of his health problems spread, Apple's stock took a nose-dive.  He will be taking a medical leave of absence until July.  Our prayers are with him.

The situation makes for an interesting discussion.  How healthy is it for a business, church, organization, or government to be dependent on the "indispensable man?"  As Charles de Gaulle said, "The cemeteries of the world are full of indispensable men."  Steve Lohr in Sunday's New York times wrote a good piece on the situation here.

Specifically for churches, is this a good way to go?  Of course the body of Christ needs gifted people.  But at what point do you say a gifted person is building his or her own fan club, or building a team? 

Apparently, Jobs did well at recruiting gifted players onto the Apple team.  God forbid, but if he cannot return to work it seems his company will do well without his day-to-day presence.  Hopefully the gifted people in churches will also pour themselves into their leaders and not just building a following.  I've seen charismatic leaders make themselves indispensable.  And I've seen their organizations suffer when they are gone.  It is much harder, and takes a lot more self-confidence, to work at building an organization that will outlast your tenure. 

The Ultimate Life Coach

I'm all for books to help you be more productive, effective, and efficient.  Heck, I've read my fair share over the past several years.  As a Christian, I've also read quite a few books on personal and spiritual growth as well.  But I've discovered a serious problem: me.

Last Century the editor of a prominent London newspaper asked several famous individuals to write essays regarding what they considered to be the biggest problem with the world.  When solicited, G.K. Chesterton responded with the following letter:

    "Dear Sir:  What is the biggest problem  in the world right now? I am.  Sincerely, G.K.  Chesterton"

If you've read my blog or know me, you also know that I'm very serious about accountability within community; we all need people to help us judge our performance, effectiveness, and weaknesses because we have blind spots.  However, no human being can take the place of God as your ultimate life coach.  He knows the darkness of our hearts better than any man.  He also loves us with such ruthless abandon, that he will undertake the most serious surgical procedure to "save us to the uttermost." 

 As C.S. Lewis observed, God is the great iconoclast; he changes for no one.  We can manipulate or b.s. our friends, but we cannot manipulate or b.s. God. 

So what does this require of us?  Submission and trust.  When God takes all our props away, and we are left in darkness with nothing to lean on, not even the feeling of his presence, we submit and trust, knowing he is bringing a purity and strength to our lives no amount of self-help philosophy will ever bring. 

The Warrior Within

"The basic difference between an ordinary man and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge while an ordinary man takes everything either as a blessing or a curse." 

 -  Don Juan, Tales of Power

 I have lived way too much of my life as an ordinary man.  I have looked at life as just ordinary, when everything that comes my way has the potential to make me a better man. If I really believe in the sovereignty of God, that belief should influence how I look at life.  Sadly, I'm guilty of being a practical atheist; I live as though God wasn't in the details. 

I pray that God gives me the grace to be a warrior.  May I learn to accept hard times as challenges to make me stronger.  Instead of reacting with frustration at difficulties, may I rise to the challenge and grow. 

Someone once said that the greatest test of a mans character is success.  May I rise to that challenge too.  Should God allow me a measure of success, may I remember that I didn't get there alone.  May I remain humble and generous, never forgetting what it took of God's grace and the generosity of others to get me where I am.

Finally, may I live as a true warrior, someone who puts his own life on the line so that others may live.  May I teach this to my children and be an example of a man who lived graciously, generously, and joyously, ready for the next challenge.

 

 

 

Strength Training

I don't appreciate the importance of time alone with God every day.  Some days I'm good at it, other times I tend to avoid it.  But I'm finding that it is key to my spiritual and emotional survival.

If I don't take time to hear what God says, it is so easy to believe the other messages that fill the world.  My days can become drudgery very quickly if time with  God is neglected.  Every day the world whispers it's subtle messages.  "God has left the building, Randy, and you are on your own."  "You've got to make your own way, pal; pull strings, make life happen."  "You are one among over 6 billion.  There's nothing special about you."  Time alone with God re-centers me in the reailty of his love, his care, his presence and my value to him. 

So it's not so much that I need new information every day; I need to be reminded of who God is, why I'm here, and how God sees me.

Psalm 18:22 in the message reads,  "Every day I review the ways he works."  This is vital for survival.  My relationship to God is my life, which is changing and dynamic.  Every day brings different but constant stresses and challenges that chip away at the eternal truths God speaks into my life.  If I do not take time to re-establish and renew myself in his presence, I can lose direction, purpose and a healthy emotional place simply by neglect.  It can cost me my life. 

So indulge me while I finish this post.  The love of my life is calling.

Time Management

If you've read any current books lately on time, life, or career management, it is mostly how to squeeze as much out of a day as you can.  In context, I guess that is ok.  But today I had another thought.

I was in my bedroom, looking out the window.  The sky was that dark azure blue, you know, Carribbean blue, that blue that let's you know a cold front is either here or coming.  Against that backdrop were the earthy, brown tree trunks with twig fingers tracing the sky.  It was hauntingly beautiful, stark and simple.  I could almost feel the deep, deep sleep of the trees.

I was reminded that life has its rhythms and we neglect them at our peril.  Against the modern philosophy of the day, winter stands in stark contrast, reminding us that all times and seasons are not "productive."  It is ok to rest, ok to "kill time." 

Not only is it ok, but the seasons, and day and night, teach us the wisdom of balance, times of fruitfulness and times of rest.  Even God rested one day out of the week, and commanded us to do the same.  One of the best acts of faith I can do is . . . nothing.  The world will go on just fine without my direct intervention.  It is also a genuine act of humility.

What is the sabbath if not putting work, activity, and productive effort in its proper context?  If we cannot stop, then our activity has become a cruel idol, a most horrible taskmaster.  It's ok to make a living, but increased activity does not make a life.  "You do not increase the quality of life by increasing its speed" - Ghandi

Why Home School?

In my last post, I focused on how Jesus gave me a reality check through scripture.  In passing, I mentioned that the catalyst to the crisis was homeschooling, specifically the financial hardship it can bring when one parent isn't working.  It made me ask myself,  why did my wife and I decide to home school anyway?  Eight years into it, it's probably a good idea to examine our motives.

The first reason that came to mind was the example of my wife's family.  Her brother and his wife decided to home school.  This was back when the home school movement was in it's infancy, so they really paved the way and took all the grief from family and friends who thought home schoolers were nuts (some are, but that's a different post).  As I dated and eventually married Kosa, I spent a lot of time with her brother's family (she lived with them at the time).  I was very impressed with the family dynamic and homeschooling seemed a good option.

Secondly, to be honest, we were not happy with Charlotte's school system.  And believe me, I've heard every argument about how you should support the system and not pull out the good kids.  But the schools in our district are towards the bottom of the pack in performance, and that worried us, which was another nudge toward teaching them ourselves.

I could go into all kinds of arguments about the ratio of students to teachers (public school classroom, 30 to 1; private, 12 to 1; home school, 1 to 1), impressive test scores by home schoolers, and all kinds of success stories.  But to be perfectly candid, my wife and I simply like being a family and didn't want to give it up too soon.

We are open to other options, but for now home school does it for us.  Yes, sometimes I worry that we are smothering the kids or not preparing them to interact with people who don't share our values.  But in spite of all that, we love being a family.  We love having tea and a fire while reading history.  We like the hikes and field trips.  Right now we don't want to sub-out what we feel is our God-given responsibility to raise our kids.  Yes, passing on our values are part of the reason, but mostly we just like being with them.  I don't see myself on my deathbed wishing I had worked harder and made more money.  We pay the price now, but I"m hoping to see great results when we release three wonderful people into the world later.