I have a friend who knows everything about me and is still my friend. And I mean he knows everything. He has the dirt to really hurt me if he wanted to. But I trust him and he trusts me, and I know his full story too. It makes us much better men.
Some would say we are lucky. Don't insult us. We have worked hard in our friendship and at some points it almost didn't survive, it was so rocky. We have the freedom to speak hard words to each other, and we do. We have both grown in the skill of speaking direct words gently. But it still hurts, and it puts our friendship at risk every time we do it. To me that is the definition of a true best friend, that you love the other person so much, you put the friendship itself on the line to help him become better.
At times I have been frustrated. I've wanted to just be "normal' friends. You know, share an interest, go bowling, hiking, freakin' anything other than always sharing our dirt with each other. I've been tempted to end the friendship based on the fact that we don't really do anything except share accountability over coffee once a week. But I recognize this as my dark side. I want to hide, to fade into the background and get out of the kitchen because I can't stand the heat. I've learned my life depends on me resisting that voice.
So what else have I learned? Close friendships will seem to cost you more than you get from them, at least on the surface; but hang in there, it's only your pride getting a reality check. If you go deep, you will get hurt (but it's a good hurt). You must be intentional. You must have guts because it takes guts to go where most men fear to tread. Finally, there is no way to be a better man, husband and father if you choose to hide.
